Welcome
1st Down or 4th and Forever: Vol. 9
Alright sports fans here we are! The BEST part of the year; FOOTBALL SEASON! And with that is the ushering in of another great feature Sports Outlaw offers it’s readers, “1st Down or 4th and Forever”.
Since there are so many players to track and so little time for you to track them, we found the guy on our staff with no life at all to do all the dirty work for you. From high atop the Rocky Mountains Sports Outlaw’s Scott “The Ram” Henkel brings his biting commentary each and every week letting you know if that player in the news is a diamond in the rough or a fossilized piece of dinosaur poop.
Here’s the way it works:
A “1st Down” rating means this guy is either going nuts or showing signs of busting out of the straight jacket. Either way he’s someone you need to keep your eyes on in your fantasy football league or make a move on and start em’.
A “4th and Forever” rating means this guy was getting some love either in the pre-season or is a one week wonder and is now ready for the bench or the waiver wire OR JUST PLAIN PISSED ME OFF. I believe the chant goes a little something like this, “OOOOOVER RAAAATED!! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap-clap!!!”
So let’s start lighting fires and breaking hearts:
1st Down
Runningbacks:
Adrian Peterson: Ow come on! I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, Ram. Way to stretch there. Typing monkey.” Well here’s the thought process loyal reader; this week’s edition is about being a MAN! That’s my theme. And to not start off with a guy, a rookie no less, who breaks the single game rushing record after registering a stellar season would be a traveshamockery. He’s ripping up the league on a team that can’t pass the ball even if all their qbs are healthy. The Vikes are completely one dimensional but they line up week after week and run the ball. Take your hat off, son.
Adrian Peterson …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Clinton Portis: 36 carries. 36. Carries. That’s a man right there. Lots of honorable mentions at runningback this week but when you get up close to 40 carries in a game and approach 200 yards, you know you just earned your paycheck. He’s been shy on tds in his recent career and hasn’t done much to speak of this season but this week Portis gets the honor.
Clinton Portis …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Wide Receivers:
Jason Witten: NOW THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! I watched that catch and run with my wife and she even said, “Damn honey, you need to put him in your article. Is that blood?” That was awesome! He gets clocked twice, bounces off, gets his helmet ripped off, and proceeds to run all old school sans helmet for extra yards. In my opinion that’s what football is all about. Not to mention him having a career year and Mr. Witten, you just became my second favorite wide-out.
Jason Witten …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Santonio Holmes: This guy’s performance made me smile. Two tds and he made the Co….ow sorry Ravens corners look silly. My boys back in B-more are going to put a hit out on me for making a Colts joke AND the fact that Holmes made that secondary look old and lost. In case you didn’t get the memo he’s pretty damn good. But the Steeler manlove doesn’t stop there!
Santonio Holmes…..1ST DOWN!!!!
Quarterbacks:
Ben Roethlisberger: I had a proud father moment Monday night. My three year old can say “Roethlisberger”. Take that hooked on phonics!!! Now Belicheck fans take notes here, mkay. Ben lobbed his fifth td in the first half. Then Coach Tomlin shockingly pulled his starters and ran the ball on almost every down. Notice Ben never went back in to toss another td in the fourth quarter. And this is a division rival! Ben’s season has been decent if not good. His picks are down and after throwing 5 dingers his tds are at a respectable 20. Not too shabby for a backup fantasy football qb.
Drew Brees…..1ST DOWN!!!!
Tony Romo: I’m not a Cowboys fan at all but that was fun to watch. I bet Jerry Jones and his now lighter wallet were pretty happy to see Romo pick the Eagles apart, too. He’s got the weapons for sure but he’s making great decisions in the check down. That’s the difference between his season and someone like….ooooh, I don’t know…..Alex Smith (in the writing business that’s called foreshadowing). As long as the offensive coordinator keeps the plays coming and the boys get the kind of stout production from MBIII and Jones he should continue to roll.
Tony Romo …..1ST DOWN!!!!
4th and Forever:
Runningbacks:
Jamal Lewis: Welcome back!!! Kellen Clemmens outrushed you! That’s right a quarterback not named Vick or Young outran the starting tailback of the Browns with 20 carries to try and eek out a decent game. If I haven’t mentioned it yet: Bum.
Jamal Lewis…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Thomas Jones: Another two week letterman on 4th and Forever, Jones managed to outrush the benchmark for craptastic runningbacks by 1 yard, That’s right, Jones outrushed his quarterback by 1 yard. Jones only had 13 tries as opposed to the bum illustrated above’s 20 carries. Jones is a mystery this season. The Bears runningbacks aren’t doing much better so the offensive lines must not be too far apart in ability. A total enigma….kind of like Nicole Richie’s notoriety.
Thomas Jones…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Wide Receivers:
Santana Moss: Another 2 for 2. Trust me, I’m not being a lazy bastard this week. I just can’t seem to find anyone slacking more than mini-Moss. Steve Smith….nah he’s got a team signing guys out of retirement homes to play quarterback. Nope, biggest slacker at wr for a second week in a row.
Santana Moss…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Quarterbacks:
Alex Smith: This week is his second in my doghouse. Which is pretty awesome as I have him as Brady’s bye week fill in this week. Already wrote that one off as a loss. He looks poised most of the time in the pocket but continues to make poor throwing decisions. He’s done nothing yet to make a case for himself to start in this league. At this point I don’t know what to tell fellow owners (if there are any other fantasy football owners brave enough to admit it). We’re screwed.
Alex Smith …..4TH DOWN!!!!
Phillip Rivers: It’s a well known formula. You throw against the Vikings. Running isn’t a good idea. And many quarterbacks have had success against them through the air. So what gives? Rivers isn’t showing much this year after showing promise each of the past two years. I still think he can be a good quarterback but I think the system isn’t what it was under last year’s regime. He doesn’t stink more than Smith. But that’s like saying rotten eggs don’t stink much more than day old diaper.
Phillip Rivers …..4TH DOWN!!!!
This Week’s Rant:
Starting off this week’s rant with some positive stuff. Soooo many honorable mention 1st Downs!!!! this week. Starting off with Marshawn Lynch. If not for another rookie demolishing records you’d be the front runner. He’s getting better as the season goes on despite a volatile situation at quarterback and a defense that isn’t stopping anything. His teammate Lee Evans had another good outing, too. The original Jelly Doughnut Ron “Jiggles” Dayne had a super performance for the Texans. Addai had a 100/100 yard game. I could go on. All in all this was a great week in football. So let me leave this week’s edition on a high note. Have a great week all and see you next week!
So that’s my opinion. If you don’t like it, sound off in the comments section below! If you like it, praise me for the bear trap tight logical thinker that I am. Thanks for your opinions either way. Until next week!
-Scott “The Ram” Henkel
Since there are so many players to track and so little time for you to track them, we found the guy on our staff with no life at all to do all the dirty work for you. From high atop the Rocky Mountains Sports Outlaw’s Scott “The Ram” Henkel brings his biting commentary each and every week letting you know if that player in the news is a diamond in the rough or a fossilized piece of dinosaur poop.
Here’s the way it works:
A “1st Down” rating means this guy is either going nuts or showing signs of busting out of the straight jacket. Either way he’s someone you need to keep your eyes on in your fantasy football league or make a move on and start em’.
A “4th and Forever” rating means this guy was getting some love either in the pre-season or is a one week wonder and is now ready for the bench or the waiver wire OR JUST PLAIN PISSED ME OFF. I believe the chant goes a little something like this, “OOOOOVER RAAAATED!! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap-clap!!!”
So let’s start lighting fires and breaking hearts:
1st Down
Runningbacks:
Adrian Peterson: Ow come on! I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, Ram. Way to stretch there. Typing monkey.” Well here’s the thought process loyal reader; this week’s edition is about being a MAN! That’s my theme. And to not start off with a guy, a rookie no less, who breaks the single game rushing record after registering a stellar season would be a traveshamockery. He’s ripping up the league on a team that can’t pass the ball even if all their qbs are healthy. The Vikes are completely one dimensional but they line up week after week and run the ball. Take your hat off, son.
Adrian Peterson …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Clinton Portis: 36 carries. 36. Carries. That’s a man right there. Lots of honorable mentions at runningback this week but when you get up close to 40 carries in a game and approach 200 yards, you know you just earned your paycheck. He’s been shy on tds in his recent career and hasn’t done much to speak of this season but this week Portis gets the honor.
Clinton Portis …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Wide Receivers:
Jason Witten: NOW THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! I watched that catch and run with my wife and she even said, “Damn honey, you need to put him in your article. Is that blood?” That was awesome! He gets clocked twice, bounces off, gets his helmet ripped off, and proceeds to run all old school sans helmet for extra yards. In my opinion that’s what football is all about. Not to mention him having a career year and Mr. Witten, you just became my second favorite wide-out.
Jason Witten …..1ST DOWN!!!!
Santonio Holmes: This guy’s performance made me smile. Two tds and he made the Co….ow sorry Ravens corners look silly. My boys back in B-more are going to put a hit out on me for making a Colts joke AND the fact that Holmes made that secondary look old and lost. In case you didn’t get the memo he’s pretty damn good. But the Steeler manlove doesn’t stop there!
Santonio Holmes…..1ST DOWN!!!!
Quarterbacks:
Ben Roethlisberger: I had a proud father moment Monday night. My three year old can say “Roethlisberger”. Take that hooked on phonics!!! Now Belicheck fans take notes here, mkay. Ben lobbed his fifth td in the first half. Then Coach Tomlin shockingly pulled his starters and ran the ball on almost every down. Notice Ben never went back in to toss another td in the fourth quarter. And this is a division rival! Ben’s season has been decent if not good. His picks are down and after throwing 5 dingers his tds are at a respectable 20. Not too shabby for a backup fantasy football qb.
Drew Brees…..1ST DOWN!!!!
Tony Romo: I’m not a Cowboys fan at all but that was fun to watch. I bet Jerry Jones and his now lighter wallet were pretty happy to see Romo pick the Eagles apart, too. He’s got the weapons for sure but he’s making great decisions in the check down. That’s the difference between his season and someone like….ooooh, I don’t know…..Alex Smith (in the writing business that’s called foreshadowing). As long as the offensive coordinator keeps the plays coming and the boys get the kind of stout production from MBIII and Jones he should continue to roll.
Tony Romo …..1ST DOWN!!!!
4th and Forever:
Runningbacks:
Jamal Lewis: Welcome back!!! Kellen Clemmens outrushed you! That’s right a quarterback not named Vick or Young outran the starting tailback of the Browns with 20 carries to try and eek out a decent game. If I haven’t mentioned it yet: Bum.
Jamal Lewis…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Thomas Jones: Another two week letterman on 4th and Forever, Jones managed to outrush the benchmark for craptastic runningbacks by 1 yard, That’s right, Jones outrushed his quarterback by 1 yard. Jones only had 13 tries as opposed to the bum illustrated above’s 20 carries. Jones is a mystery this season. The Bears runningbacks aren’t doing much better so the offensive lines must not be too far apart in ability. A total enigma….kind of like Nicole Richie’s notoriety.
Thomas Jones…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Wide Receivers:
Santana Moss: Another 2 for 2. Trust me, I’m not being a lazy bastard this week. I just can’t seem to find anyone slacking more than mini-Moss. Steve Smith….nah he’s got a team signing guys out of retirement homes to play quarterback. Nope, biggest slacker at wr for a second week in a row.
Santana Moss…..4TH DOWN!!!!
Quarterbacks:
Alex Smith: This week is his second in my doghouse. Which is pretty awesome as I have him as Brady’s bye week fill in this week. Already wrote that one off as a loss. He looks poised most of the time in the pocket but continues to make poor throwing decisions. He’s done nothing yet to make a case for himself to start in this league. At this point I don’t know what to tell fellow owners (if there are any other fantasy football owners brave enough to admit it). We’re screwed.
Alex Smith …..4TH DOWN!!!!
Phillip Rivers: It’s a well known formula. You throw against the Vikings. Running isn’t a good idea. And many quarterbacks have had success against them through the air. So what gives? Rivers isn’t showing much this year after showing promise each of the past two years. I still think he can be a good quarterback but I think the system isn’t what it was under last year’s regime. He doesn’t stink more than Smith. But that’s like saying rotten eggs don’t stink much more than day old diaper.
Phillip Rivers …..4TH DOWN!!!!
This Week’s Rant:
Starting off this week’s rant with some positive stuff. Soooo many honorable mention 1st Downs!!!! this week. Starting off with Marshawn Lynch. If not for another rookie demolishing records you’d be the front runner. He’s getting better as the season goes on despite a volatile situation at quarterback and a defense that isn’t stopping anything. His teammate Lee Evans had another good outing, too. The original Jelly Doughnut Ron “Jiggles” Dayne had a super performance for the Texans. Addai had a 100/100 yard game. I could go on. All in all this was a great week in football. So let me leave this week’s edition on a high note. Have a great week all and see you next week!
So that’s my opinion. If you don’t like it, sound off in the comments section below! If you like it, praise me for the bear trap tight logical thinker that I am. Thanks for your opinions either way. Until next week!
-Scott “The Ram” Henkel
Total Comments 2
Comments
 |  Ram you are the coolest... too bad I don't get to play you and Alex Smith this week in the Hired Guns  |
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| |  Thanks Chica. Yeah, I'm hoping for a flash of brilliance from Smitty. Hell I'd be stoked if he throws for more tds (even 0 is good) than picks this weekend. As long as he doesn't cost me negative points I'll consider it a moral victory. |
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Recent Blog Entries by The Ram
- 1st Down or 4th and Forever: Playoff Edition (12-10-2007)
- 1st Down or 4th and Forever: Vol. 11 (11-27-2007)
- 1st Down or 4th and Forever: Vol. 10 (11-13-2007)
- 1st Down or 4th and Forever: Vol. 9 (11-07-2007)
- 1st Down or 4th and Forever: Vol. 8 (10-31-2007)
